


Confessions at 3AM

by VianaDAscolli



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Canon Universe, Confessions, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Denial of Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Fuckbuddies to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Kissing, LMAO, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VianaDAscolli/pseuds/VianaDAscolli
Summary: Remus had gotten over his feelings for Virgil after he left, a long time ago. Or so he thought. But when he met Thomas and saw Virgil after all this time, he learned things weren't as simple as he wanted them to be.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 14
Kudos: 157





	Confessions at 3AM

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This was requested with a prompt on Tumblr and kinda got carried away lmao
> 
> I'm not a native English speaker, so there might be some gramatical mistakes. Sorry for that!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings: mentions of sex and gore, nothing explicit, just Remus being Remus

Remus turned over on the bed for the fifteenth time in then minutes. No matter how much he tried to rest, he couldn’t relax if his life depended on it. He’d tried everything: he’d tried to rest with or without clothes, he’d changed pajamas five times, he’d conjured eight different sheets for his bed, he’d tried sleeping on the floor, on a chair, upside down. Nothing worked. He sighed, frustrated. He knew physical comfort wasn’t the issue here. The problem was in his head. However, it wasn’t the usual intrusive thoughts that were keeping him awake tonight (those he had learned to accept a long time ago), but another completely different issue that he had thought he’d gotten over a long time ago.

With a growl, he finally gave up on trying to fall asleep and got up from the bed to stretch his tense body. He felt exhausted, but he knew he wouldn’t rest properly tonight. Oh well, it wasn’t like this was the first night he’d spend awake.

However, this time his restlessness was because of Virgil.

Moving over to sit on the dirty floor of his room, he wondered where it had all gone wrong. Was it when he and Virgil started whatever it was that they had, back when he still wore just black? Was it when Virgil left the dark sides? Was it when he introduced himself to Thomas and he inevitably came back to his old friend’s life? He didn’t know, but it didn’t really matter now.

Closing his eyes, his mind drifted off to that time where Virgil was still with Deceit and him. Back then, he thought everything was doing great! Their asshole emo was their leader, and the three of them did their jobs just fine. They were a little strange family having fun and keeping close to each other. When the tension between Remus and Virgil snapped, nothing really changed between the two of them except that they also occasionally fucked. Or so he thought. 

As the time passed, Anxiety and the Duke started getting closer, slowly but surely. More tender touches, more soft looks, more relaxed little smiles that they shared privately. Remus hadn’t wanted to admit it then, but he was really starting to grow strong feelings for the emo. He kept those feelings in the back of his mind, letting them be overshadowed by his usual intrusive thoughts, subconsciously hoping they would disappear so that they could keep that friends and fuckbuddies thing they had intact.

Then Virgil met Thomas, and he started hanging out more with the others, Remus and him started to fight more and more (though not as much as Deceit and him, where it got to the point where they refused to be in the same room as the other) and then, one day, Virgil packed his things and left.

Without their leader, Deceit had to take charge, and they learned how to live without their friend.

Remus immediately craved his presence. He felt something missing in his heart that he knew could only be filled if Virgil came back. He knew Deceit felt the same, although he never admitted it out loud (that snake was horrible at expressing his emotions and kept trying to hide them, but it was expected really, considering he was literally _Deceit_ ).

It didn’t take much longer for Remus to realize his true feelings for his friend. “Heh,” Remus chuckled to himself “you really don’t truly appreciate what you have until you lose it, huh?”

It wasn’t funny.

The next time Remus saw Virgil after he left was a coincidence. It was the middle of the night, probably around 3AM, like it was now, and Remus was heading to the kitchen in the dark sides’ part of the Mindscape to get something to eat since he couldn’t sleep.

However, before he could reach his destination, he heard a noise behind him and when he turned around he saw _him_ , stepping out of his old room, a bag hung on his shoulder and looking equally as startled to see him as Remus felt. He felt his throat dry and licked his lips before speaking.

“What are you doing here?” Virgil huffed, trying to look annoyed, but Remus knew he was just anxious.

“That’s none of your business, I was just leaving.” Keeping his eyes glued to the ground, he tried to walk past Remus towards the exit door, but his path was blocked “Move.” He frowned, still looking at his feet.

“Not until you tell me why you left.” He didn’t know why he’d said that. Virgil finally looked up to him, something that Remus couldn’t decipher flashing through his face, and he hoped the other hadn’t noticed the shakiness in his voice.

“I said _move_.” Virgil stepped forward, shoving past his old friend. He continued walking but a hand around his wrist stopped him.

Remus didn’t know what had made him do that, but he suddenly couldn’t think and found himself at a loss of words. He stuttered, surprised that Virgil hadn’t moved away yet, and wished he could see his face in that moment. He felt his stomach and chest heavy, like he had swallowed a bunch of rocks again. _Say something, say something, say something, say something._

“I love you.” _Well_ , he thought, _couldn’t have chosen a worse moment to say it._

He felt Virgil tense even more, but neither of them moved or said anything else. Several moments passed, and Remus desperately wanted to see the expression the anxious side was making, but he didn’t try anything. It was like the both of them had stopped breathing.

Then, the spell broke, and Virgil snatched his arm away from Remus’ grip. Without looking back, he walked through the door and disappeared in the dark.

Remus remained frozen for a few moments before sighing and going back to his room. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

They didn’t see each other again until years later, when he first introduced himself to Thomas.

It was fine, he’d told himself, he had already gotten over his thing for Virgil a while ago, he didn’t have feelings for him anymore, he had moved on. Now that he had met Thomas properly he expected to see the emo more often and, with those romantic feelings toward him out of the way, maybe they could actually be friends again! So he started showing up more.

At first, everyone tensed up and tried to get him to leave when he popped up uninvited, but over time they started to just let him stay. And, once the dark sides’ and the light sides’ parts of the Mindscape became one (he could thank Deceit for that), they even started to relax around him sometimes! But that also meant that _Virgil_ was starting to relax around him.

He got to see more of those smirks, those more rare little smiles, the way he snorted sometimes at something he said, when he rolled his eyes in fond exasperation, those few times when he actually got him to laugh (those moments exceptionally precious to him). He was starting to remember why he had been in love with the anxious side.

Remus got up from the floor and walked towards the door. Maybe a glass of water would help? Once out of his room, though, he didn’t get very far before he heard a noise coming from the kitchen and saw Virgil coming out of it. Well, shit, _just_ what he needed right now. Looking at him again, he noticed that he was wearing his skeleton onesie (in which he always looked adorable) and that he remarkably relaxed at the sight of him. Since Remus had been more or less accepted by the others, he had noticed that Virgil always tended to be more at ease around him when they were alone. He still hadn’t figured out why, though he decided to not give it much attention.

“What are you doing here?” Hearing this, he couldn’t help but have a strong déjà vu feeling, and he didn’t like that one bit. However, he still grinned and adopted his usual posture with the little energy he still had.

“Just getting a glass of water, emo, what are YOU doing here? Are you doing something you shouldn’t do?”

“Just getting water as well.” Virgil mumbled as he got closer, eyeing him suspiciously, so close that Remus could touch him if he reached out to him. “What’s wrong with you?” What?

“What are you talking about, emo?” He laughed nervously, hoping that it didn’t sound that way, but by the way Virgil’s eyes narrowed, it did. However, he still tried to sound as cheerful as always. “You know what’s wrong with me: I’m the personification of intrusive thoughts!”

“No, you’re acting weird.” Remus opened his mouth to talk, but the anxious side interrupted him. “ _Weirder_ than normal.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He started to visibly tense, already hating where this was going.

“Oh, really? Because your behavior has been different lately and I can tell. I know you, Remus! Sometimes you go suddenly quiet for no reason, looking at me with a strange expression, you randomly tense up around me, you seem much paler and more exhausted than ever, you participate with your “contributions” less than before, I could keep going if you wanted!” His voice had started to raise a little, although he probably hadn’t realized. 

Well, damnit! Remus hadn’t thought he was being that obvious! He instinctively took a single step backwards, his heart pounding inside his chest. He wished he could rip it off right at this moment and get rid of it: maybe then these feelings he was having would disappear. Meanwhile, seeing he wasn’t going to answer, Virgil decided to keep asking.

“I know something’s up, Remus. Tell me! Let me help you!”

“No.”

“What?”

“No! You can’t help me!”

“What? Why? What’s going on? Why are you acting so strange?”

“It’s because of you!”

“Because of me?” He suddenly looked much more insecure about this. “Did I do something wrong? Is it because of how I treated you in the past? If you want me to apologize again I will!”

“No, you don’t have to do that!”

“If I’m hurting you I want to know! Tell me what I’m doing wrong, please!”

“You’re not doing anything wrong! You’re doing everything right, and I’m the one who’s messed up!”

“What are you talking about!? Is it really something I did!?”

“No!”

“You said it was because of me! If I didn’t do anything, why are you acting so weird!?”

“BECAUSE I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

They froze, and everything around them went quiet. They stared at each other with equally wide eyes, not moving a muscle.

Remus… Remus hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant to blurt out those words, damnit! What was going to happen now? Was Virgil going to hate him? Was he going to feel disgusted? Was he going to laugh at him for still having feelings for him after all this time? Every possible worst case scenario played in Remus’ head in an instant. He had no idea what was going to happen, but he certainly just wanted _something_ to happen! Was Virgil going to stare at him for the rest of the eternity? It was killing him.

The silence stretched out for a few more moments, the atmosphere so dense that Remus was convinced it could have been cut with a knife, when Virgil spoke again.

“…What?” His voice came out as a whisper, full of disbelief and uncertainty. He still kept unmoving, not even playing with the hem of his sleeves like he usually did or even blinking.

Shit, shit, _shit_. Now every bit of trust they’d manage to build again would be ruined. There was no way things would stay the same after this. _Shit_. He felt his breath shortening, barely registering it or anything else except Virgil in front of him.

Fidgeting from where he was standing, Remus turned his back to him and almost took a step forward. His insides were screaming at him to run away and to lock himself up in his room, but he fought those urges and took a deep breath. He had always been proud of his honesty and his gay-forward nature so, now that he had already said _that_ to Virgil, running away would go against what he was. He might as well tell the whole, unfiltered truth now, right?

He quickly turned on his heels and faced Virgil again, who looked more startled than a few moments ago. He opened his mouth to speak, but Remus beat him to it.

“Yes, I’m still in love with you! I thought I had gotten over you a long time ago but obviously I was wrong!” He laughed before continuing talking. “But how could I not have been wrong? You’re just so hot and pretty and fun to be around with! Every time I look at you I feel like I want to rip out my stomach and eat it and my heart will rise up to my throat and I feel like I’m super horny except that sometimes I’m not actually horny!”

“Remus” He didn’t listen and continued blurting out words.

“Which is super weird but made me think that maybe I’m not only attracted to you physically? But then I remembered how you made me feel when we still were fuckbuddies and it’s actually super close but this time the not-only-physical-attraction part is even more intense!”

“Remus” He could barely hear Virgil.

“And now I know I’m even more hopelessly in love with you than I was before you left and that makes me go crazy because I know you’ll never feel the same but I just love your smile and your laugh and your sarcastic comments and also your rudeness and your anxiety because I love every part of you even if you’re not perfect (or _because_ you’re not perfect) and I’m always thinking about how much I want to kiss you and touch you and fuck you and go on dates and cuddle with you!”

“Remus!”

“But it doesn’t really matter because I know you don’t want that! Because I’m gross and crazy and dirty and I wouldn’t change any of that for anything but I know you don’t like those things anymore and I can’t sleep at night because I can’t stop thinking and fantasizing and dreaming about you and-”

“REMUS!”

Remus finally stopped talking and looked at Virgil again, noticing for the first time that his face was a deep shade of red. Breathing heavily because of the long rant, he watched Virgil slowly take a few steps forward until they were almost touching.

Virgil didn’t say anything at first and neither did Remus, eyes glued to each other’s stares. The anxious side wore an intense look that seemed like he was searching for something. What was it, Remus had no idea.

Then, very slowly, Virgil raised his hands to cup Remus’ cheeks. The creative side stopped breathing for a moment, not really understanding what was happening yet.

“Remus” Virgil said with the softest voice he’d ever heard, glancing at his lips. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

That broke Remus out of his stupor and, without any hesitation, he leaned in and pressed their lips together. Virgil left out a hum, eyes closed, and reciprocated with enthusiasm, quickly deepening the kiss and brushing his tongue against his. Remus put his arms around Virgil’s waist, pulling him closer, while one of his hands left his cheek to bury it in his hair. Remus smiled against the kiss and huffed out a laugh. It was clear not only he had wanted this for a while.

After making out a bit more they parted slightly to catch their breaths, just enough so that they could press their foreheads together and, when Remus looked at Virgil’s eyes, he saw bare love and fondness. The same love and fondness he was feeling in that moment. He laughed, happiness filling his chest like a balloon, and kissed his love’s temple, who also laughed in response.

“God, I love you so much!” Virgil brushed his cheek with his thumb, not hiding the amusement in his smile.

“I know, Remus.” He paused. “I love you too.”

Remus squeezed him tightly and smiled so widely he thought his face was going to split in two. Then, they let go and walked together to Virgil’s room. He had a feeling that, cuddled up to him, he wouldn’t have any more trouble to sleep from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you liked it! Comment if you did, those help a lot! :)


End file.
